New Hire Orientation Day 1

Today was Day 1 of my New Hire Orientation, which I believe is a mandatory, cruel hazing ritual that all new University of Rochester employees must suffer through.  They wanted us to show up at 8am.  One of my biggest flaws is my punctuality.  I showed up to Staybridge Suites across the river from campus at 8am on the button and checked in and got a little binder full of information that I already knew.  I then proceeded to a room where I was supposed to get my ID badge.  I waited in line, got a little sheet of paper with my Employee ID number, and sat down in the chair to get my picture taken.  They then cheerfully informed me that I was “not in the system”.  I have no idea what that means, but it sounded like they said “bureaucracy, bureaucracy, bureaucracy”.

Then we had to go sit in a room and wait until 8:30am, when a woman from Human Resources started showing a powerpoint with all of the information from our binder.  She also read information from the binder out loud as it was being shown on the powerpoint, and as it was sitting in front of us.  Absolutely nothing that she said was new to me.  Right around the time she started reading off of the sheet with all of the “important” phone numbers on it, I decided that I should just start tearing my eyes out.

I was so relieved when she finished around 9:30am.  Then we had a 15 minute break, before a guy presented on Well•U, the University’s initiative to promote a healthier lifestyle for each employee.  He wasn’t so bad, mostly because he presented very quickly.  After that, there was another break, and then a woman came to discuss diversity at the University…with a powerpoint.  The number of useless powerpoints I sat through today was truly astonishing.

My favorite presenter was a woman from Security, who came and told interesting stories about stupid criminals and other crazy things that have happened at the Medical Center, and how to contact Security if you have a problem, etc.  Again, all of this I already knew, since it had been drilled into me during my last 5 years at the University of Rochester.

The last presenter before noon was a woman from Environmental Health & Safety.  This was also probably the most relevant for my work.  Unfortunately it was very boring and felt rushed at the end since we were running a little late.  But I’m sure I will see her again tomorrow, when I have a full day of orientation.  Today was only a half day for me, running from 8am until 12pm.  I have no idea what we will be discussing that was not covered today, but at least I will get a free lunch.

I'm jealous of flowers; they spend all day in the sunshine. Well, except for Rochester flowers, which spend a good deal of time in the rain as well.


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